The Holiday Pleasure Gift Guide

Pleasure affects the body in beautifully positive ways.  It helps to map nerves in your body and synapses in your brain; it re-sensitizes your body; boosts your immune system, and balances hormones and the endocrine system.  Pleasure is a gateway to spirit and the deeper connection that fosters a satisfying and full life experience. And last but not least, pleasure creates a priceless connection between you and your lover, enticing you to enjoy the depth of one another through emotion, sensation and surrender. 

To give the gift of pleasure is to give all of these things, plus something even more special:  a memory that will be seared in the mind and heart of your lover to re-energize and uplift them when they need it most.  A Pleasure Gift is the gift that keeps on giving.

So forget about the expensive cologne, ties and lingerie (…well…maybe don’t forget about the lingerie).  Here are three ways you can create an unforgettable pleasure gift with your lover this holiday.

When figuring out what kind of experience you want to create for your lover, consider where this gift will take place.  I’ve given pleasure gifts in beautiful and meticulously crafted environments in homes or hotels; I’ve also given them in public bathrooms and on public beaches, in cars and in barns.  How much control you have over the environment will dictate how creative you can get with your gift, and in which ways.  Let your creativity explode…after all, sexual energy IS creative energy! 

Can you wear edible underwear, or something else delicious to put in his mouth?  Can you layer clothing so that removing it feels like she’s unwrapping a beautiful package?  Can you create a space of calm and serene in his massively loud world?  You know your lover’s desires better than anyone…show him how much you love him by gifting him a space in time that completely supports his sensual desires.


Water is like liquid sensuality, and so there’s nothing more sensual than a Blissful Bath.  When preparing your Blissful Bath at home think about what you want your lover to hear, smell, see, sense…consider how you want them to feel leaving the experience–relaxed, aroused, energized, in Love?

To prepare a bath add essential oils, bubble bath, mineral bath, or any other addition you like to warm water.  The temperature of the water is very important because you both will be in it for a little while, not too hot and not too cold.  The better your Blissful Bath smells the better it will feel.  Keep the lights low or off, and light candles. 

As you’re in the bath with your partner, facing them, ask them to lie back and relax in the warmth of the water.  Make sure your partner is taking deep, relaxing breaths in and out of his belly.  You can massage his shoulders, neck, spine and butt.  Massage her legs, thighs, hands, arms, chest, belly and lower pelvis, etc.  Ask her to close her eyes and focus on relaxing in the water. In about 5 to 10 minutes or so your partner should feel totally relaxed.  You can use salt scrub to scrub his hands, chest and back.

When your lover feels totally relaxed you can start to stimulate her more erogenous zones.  Run your fingers lightly over her nipples.  Caress her, rub the insides of her thighs.  While stroking your partner lightly, guide him once again to take deep and relaxing breaths, relaxing his entire body in the water as you continue to stimulate him by stroking him lightly. The goal in the bath is to experience the place where arousal meets relaxation–a sensitive place that needs total relaxation for your lover to enjoy.  So, don’t be afraid to continually guide your lover deeper and deeper into his relaxation by reminding him to let go and relax.

The bath is a great precursor to a massage or a sensual massage.  If it’s just the beginning of your pleasure gift, then don’t allow your partner to climax in the tub…entice them to come close to climax, but save the end for later!

THE MIND-BLOWING BLOWJOB (This gift is just for the guys…)

I’ve always loved giving blowjobs.  I’m not sure if it’s the sensation of having something in my mouth, or the way that my lover submits when he’s in my mouth.  Either way, to me, blowjobs are divine.  The awesome thing about blowjobs is that they don’t require a lot of environmental control—this is that mind-blowing gift you can give in the back seat of a car or in the public bathroom of your favorite bar or restaurant!  Perhaps that sounds a little cheeky to you…but, that’s the point.

The secret to giving a Mind-blowing Blowjob is to not be afraid of the cock at hand, or at mouth—you have to completely embrace it to make it work.  Any  kind of fear or discomfort can be felt as haptic feedback by your lover’s cock.  The main reason women overwhelmingly seem to dislike giving head is that they say they get no sexual pleasure from it.  To these women, I say…dig a little deeper and you’ll definitely find pleasure there.

The Tantric way to give a Mind-blowing Blowjob is to constantly focus on how your mouth feels to the touch of the cock inside of it.  If it feels good to you, it will feel good to him.  Guaranteed.  If you feel uncomfortable with how it feels in your mouth, he won’t be that excited by it.  Always come back to how you feel.

Super Tantric Sex Tip: There’s a point at the top back of the throat that connects directly with the cervix (which is the most sensitive and pleasurable place in a woman’s body).  When the tip of the cock hits the back of your throat it literally triggers this sensitive spot deep down inside of your body!

If you’re a guy giving a Blissful Blowjob to your man, that top back part of your throat connects to your sacred spot (also the most pleasurable spot in a man’s body.)


Sensual massage is it’s relatively simple if you think about the experience having a relaxing beginning, an exciting middle and a phenomenal end!  To make any sensual massage experience even more delicious, add a little something yummy in the middle—fruit with chocolate sauce, edible flowers, chocolate, fruit and honey are my go to…but whatever you think your lover would enjoy most.  You can also create a little break with tea or champagne.  The food can be placed strategically on your lover’s body and slowly licked or eaten off, or you can lovingly feed them something sweet to heighten their senses…blindfolded.  Blindfolding is a great addition to any sensual massage experience because it heightens the sensual senses. Create this pleasure gift in the comfort of your home, or in a luxury hotel where you can have as much control over the environment as possible.  A comfortable and sensual environment is one key to success.  You can add the Seriously Hot Sensual Massage after the Blissful Bath, if you want to create a truly unforgettable sensual experience.

To prepare for your sensual massage you’ll want a high-grade edible oil.  Coconut oil, almond oil, or something else of a raw oil nature.  The oil shouldn’t be scented with anything that you wouldn’t want to get in your mouth (because,  you’ll probably end up eating a little oil during this very sensual experience).  Either you prepare the surface of a massage table (best option), or firm mattress (second best option).  If you’re doing this on your bed, then make sure you lay linens down that you absolutely don’t mind getting messy and throwing away after.  If you don’t have either one of these things consider creating an inviting area on the floor.

In the beginning of your sensual massage is time to relax him.  Use your therapeutic massage skills (deep tissue, Swedish, whatever works).  Think about all her muscles becoming relaxed and open.  Wherever you find hard spots focus a little deeper and help her unwind.


  • Don’t push down hard on the center of his spine.
  • Do make it more of a sensual experience by using long, luxurious strokes. Longer strokes with the flat of your hand feel more relaxing.
  • Don’t use the tips of your fingers, unless you’re using them to scratch.
  • Do use your entire body, not just your hands.

Just like the bath, you want to make sure she’s breathing in and out of her belly.  This kind of breathing is way more relaxing than the chest breaths that people usually take when they THINK they are supposed to be breathing deeply. So be her loving guide, “Take a deep breath into your belly, my Love.”  Trust me.  That right there is where she will melt.

In the middle is time to generate some excitement, but first you can break for some tea, champagne, fruit or something else delicious.   After your sweet break, it’s time to play!  Use your hands, mouth and body freely during this time to just play with the energy that presents itself.  Get curious about what would happen if you…  This curiosity will create the magical element of play in your Seriously Hot Sensual Massage experience.  Pleasure is best when it’s played, like an instrument or a game.  To create as much sensation in her body as possible, stimulate her to the point of almost a climax, and then back off.  Do this over and over as many times as possible until he just can’t stand it anymore.  Then…

At the end of your Seriously Hot Sensual Massage is time once again for relaxation.  After a climax, you can massage his feet, head, face, hands, upper neck, or wherever you feel he would get the most relaxation.  Put something over her eyes so she can completely absorb the relaxation benefits.  You can use essential oils here to ground him out.  But, whatever you do, make the ending a sweet come down—a lullaby for his senses.

I hope these ideas stimulate your senses and inspire you to craft your perfect pleasure gift.  Remember that the most wonderful gifts are of the secret and invisible kind, the kind that come directly from the source of who you are to inspire someone you love.  Gifts like these share that the intention of pure delight with a  loved one…purely for their delight!  These are the kind of

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