Taboo Exploration for Enlightened Sex
Exploring taboos can create some serious sex magic. If you’re the type of person who feels sexual shame deeply, then taboo exploration is the perfect prescription for you.
Sexual taboos are hardwired to trigger sexual shame. So when you confront a taboo, you unravel a little bit (or, a lot) of your sexual shame.
Tantric philosophy believes that exploring taboo as a practice actually reshapes your DNA, makes your ability to process and store energy in your body way more efficient! Cool, right?
There are so many taboos, and for the sake of this conversation I’ll keep it kind of vanilla—anal sex, water-sports, polyamory, and group sex (like threesomes). Taboo is also different for each one of us. Something that triggers shame in me, might not also do the same in you. When figuring out which taboo to play with (in a light and loving way), you want to explore one that triggers a little heaviness, and even perhaps a little bit of fear.
Taboo explorations go totally against the grain of your regular mode of operation. To confront a taboo you have to engage a completely different part of your brain, and body. That’s awesome, because taboos connect deeply to elements of your psychology, history, emotional responses, and your social ethics.
Taboos exist to keep us from going too far, and getting ostracized from our social groups–they are like social safety-nets. But, when a taboo energy becomes overactive, it creates shame. And eventually (when you’ve built up enough shame) this hardwired belief system becomes something that holds you back, instead of something that protects you.
When you decide to confront a taboo not only do you challenge your individual beliefs, but the structure of the entire system in which the belief was born.
You break the system. You stop reacting to a program, and start writing the program.
Yes, taboos can be this powerful!
Because exploring taboo can be so powerful and beneficial I wanted to share a few quick tips on how to handle them…
FOCUS ON WHAT’S COMING UP
In order to figure out which taboo to explore, focus on what’s been popping into your head a lot. Start with that thing that keeps popping into your head that you have to work harder and harder to ignore.
START WITH SOMETHING VERY SIMPLE
like anal sex, or just anal play by incorporating a butt plug into your self-pleasure practice. Or, you can try something a little more devious, sex in a public bathroom.
IF YOUR TABOO IS TOO TABOO…SWAP IT OUT
One really cool thing about playing with taboos you can substitute them. If you’ve been fantasizing about fucking the neighbor’s wife, and you’re happily married and sexually active with your partner, then it might not be a great idea to pursue that taboo. Instead, you can choose to explore another taboo, like a threesome, or sex in a public place (like a bathroom). Something more safe for your life that will satisfy your craving.
FOLLOW THE ESSENCE OF THE EXPERIENCE
Getting down to the essence of the taboo is where the magic happens. The essence asks, “Does that FEEL good? Or, does that FEEL bad?” There’s no in-between. No weird, or different, or I don’t know.
Also, every time a judgement about you, the person or situation you’re engaging with, comes up…let it go. Or, better yet…flip it. Imagine it from the opposite perspective. Then try and see the situation from another, slightly different perspective.
Keep with it, as long as it feels good.
KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN
And use it as your guide. This is so important when you’re playing taboo. When you feel compassionate, loving, and open to an experience it becomes more interesting and reveals more magic to you! Your heart energy balances the potential darkness of the taboo (which is just that feeling of shame, bad, wrong). So use the power of Love to kick your shame and guilt in the ass.
Working through a taboo takes courage, patience, and a lot of Love. Being brave might just be about starting, because taboo exploration is definitely an act of bravery. Or, it might be about ignoring those obsessive thoughts of shame that keep coming up.
TABOO BUSTING, TOGETHER!
One of the most surprising things that I learned about taboo exploration is how intimate it can be when exploring a taboo with with another person. I found that going into this unknown territory with my partner established a way deeper level of trust…oh, and made sex together SO MUCH BETTER.
I spent most of my lifetime working through one major taboo that showed up early-on in my life. I knew that if I dug deep into this taboo it would reveal something interesting…something that I desperately needed. But, in order to pursue it I had to go against most of my family and friends. It was rough.
But, it was definitely worth it! Yes, I understand the beauty of working through a taboo. So can you!